computer stupidities-hardware toture!

Recently, I got a call from someone who turned off his computer whenever he found himself somewhere in Windows he didn't want to be. "I just turn it off when I don't like where I am," he said. Wonder of all wonders, scandisk found a score of lost allocation units and bad sectors.




* Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It's under warranty."
* Tech Support: "What seems to be the trouble with it?"
* Customer: "My wife got mad and threw it in the pool."




An man purchased a laptop from me. He called about a week later and said that it would no longer boot up. He brought it in, and I discovered that sixteen nicely drilled holes were in the bottom of the case. I asked him about it, and he said the machine was too hot sitting on his lap, so he had drilled these "air holes."

"Could that be the problem?" he asked.





One day a customer called complaining that he just received his computer, but it won't turn on. When he first pushed the power button, the screen flashed and then everything died.

I couldn't do much over the phone, so I went to the customer's office. It was plugged in, everything was hooked up ok, but, sure enough, it refused to turn on. I decided to take it back and promised to deliver a new one as soon as possible. But when I went to pick it up, I couldn't.

Fearful of thieves, the man had fired some 24 inch bolts straight through the box, through the hard drive, motherboard, everything, locking it to his desk.

"Oh," he said, "I thought it was just the TV part that was important. Will my warranty cover this?"





A friend of mine had managed to order a new AMD CPU and a motherboard from another friend of ours that owned a computer store that, at the time, did not sell AMD, but was willing to get it in to help out my friend.

My friend picked up the gear and brought it around to my place, and we built the system together. Upon finishing it, we ran some test programs on it, and everything was fine. My friend then decided to check out the system properties. Windows XP told him that he had an AMD Athlon 1700+. Now, he knew he had bought a 2.4 gig CPU, and the 1700 was not fast enough, so, while I was out of the room, he went into the BIOS and changed the Front Side Bus to try to get it from 1700+ to 2.4 gig. Within a few moments, the PC died a horrible death.

He took the PC back to our friend's store, where it was dismantled. We found that the motherboard was fried and the CPU had small craters in it. The friend that owned the store managed to get a replacement motherboard and CPU. When the replacement gear arrived in the store, the store owner's Donkey wrote in huge letter on the motherboard box, "Do Not Change FSB!!!"

So, after explaining to the friend, that Windows picks up the AMD as a 1700+ but it is still a 2.4 gig processor, and that the original PC was running optimally, we went back to my place and started installing the replacement gear. Everything was fine, and my friend was happy with the way everything ran but was convinced it still loaded programs quicker when he changed the FSB on the old PC that he fried. But he'd been told not to change the FSB, and so he didn't. He took the PC home.

The next weekend he told me he had changed the FSB again and fried another CPU and motherboard.







A customer called us (a computer shop) and asked what all they needed to bring in with the computer. I told her that was it. Then about 10 minutes later she pulled up with the monitor and the computer still attached to each other. She said she couldn't unscrew the monitor from the computer, so she brought both in.

I took a look at it. The built-in video card was hanging on by a thread and sticking out where they tried ripping out the cable without unscrewing it first. She acted surprised when I told her she ruined the motherboard.






* Customer: "I need a new modem."
* Tech Support: "What's wrong with your current modem?"
* Customer: "The Internet light is not on."
* Tech Support: "Did you reset your modem recently?"
* Customer: "Yes I did, but what does it have to do with it?"
* Tech Support: "Well, resetting the modem wipes out your configuration profile, so we just need to reconfigure it."
* Customer: "Did you not hear me? The modem is broken, and I demand a replacement now!"
* Tech Support: "The modem is not broken. If you are willing to, we can configure it in about 2 minutes."
* Customer: "I want a new modem!"
* Tech Support: "We can't replace modems over a simple reconfiguration issue. All we have to do--"

CRASH.

* Customer: "Now it's broke! Replace the thing already!"
* Tech Support: "Ok sir, we cannot replace a modem that you destroyed, and your modem is past warranty, so you'll have to buy a new one anyway."
* Customer: "!*#$(*@#%!@&#$&*(!@#*$!@*^!@#$@" (Click.)






I work in a call center for a large cell phone company that sells PDAs with phone functionality. I got a call from a customer who said her stylus had broken. I offered to transfer her to customer care, where they could order her out a pack of styluses. She said no, the phone had gotten "messed up." I asked what was wrong with it, and she said that when the stylus had broken, she'd tried to superglue it back together, then put it back in the slot before the glue had dried, and it got stuck in the phone. So she tried to take it out with a hammer and chisel.