Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

[Katanga]

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee jokes come here!

# chuck norrises tears can cure cancer...to bad he never cries.chuck norris is suing NBC claiming law&order are trademarked name for his left and right leg
# chuck norris has already been to mars...thats why there is no sign of life there
# some people wear super man pajamas.....superman wears chuck norris pajamas
# Chuck norris was gonna star on the show 24 but the media wouldn't let him because he killed all the terrorists in 10 mintues
# Chuck norris won a connect four game.....in 3 turns
# If i had 3$ and chuck had 3$ chuck would have more.
# when chuck took a test he answered everyproblem with the word "violence" and got a A+ because chuck solves all his problems with violence
# chuck once strangled a man to death with a cordless phone
# There is no control button on chucks computer cause chuck is always in control
# Chuck can kill 2 stones with one bird
# There is no theory of evolution just a list of animals chuck allows to live
# chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding

[Katanga]

Chuck Norris Always donates blood to the blood bank,but never his own

[kareljanis]

are the ones i posted gone?

[Katanga]

no they just show as "Guest"

http://www.yikers.com/video_chuck_norris_reads_off_his_own_top_10_chuck_jokes.html

Check that out!

See Karel these were yours:

If this accidentally does not go into chuck norris jokes, im sorry

- Chuck created God, and Bruce Lee created Chuck Norris.
- There is life in outer space, just we havent seen it because all the aliens are scared of coming here cause of chuck norris.
- no one can beat chuck norris, except for bruce lee!
- Chuck Norris's fist was supposed to be a melee weapon for Call of Duty, but it was too strong to be put in the game.
- Chuck Norris once outran a cheetah backwards, balancing an egg on his nose and reciting the alphabet in 3 languages.
- Chuck punched the hole in the ozone layer.
- lightning and thunder are caused by chuck norris sneezing.
- Chuck Norris once drank all the juice out of the kool-aid man in 3 seconds.
- on the 7th day, chuck norris took over while god took a break.
- every night the boogeyman checks under his bed for chuck norris.
- chuck Norris doesn't read, he just stares down at the book until it gives him the info that he needs.
- There was no Big Bang, just Chuck Norris getting kicked by Bruce Lee.
- Chuck norris once shot down an enemy plane by pointing his finger at it.
- It takes an atomic bomb to even leave a bruise on chuck norris, but it takes only Bruce Lee to injure or kill him.
- Chuck norris is so strong, every time Bruce Lee kills him, he resurrects himslef.
- Poisonous gas was created from chuck Norris's farts.
- Chuck Norris once ate a Rubix cube and s.hit it out solved. (I got that one from someone).
- lightning and thunder are caused by chuck norris sneezing.

[kareljanis]

thanks

[Katanga]

yep!

A lot of good ones have already been used, but I also liked this one...

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

the loch ness monster is just one of chuck norris's radio-active turds

This is the best one: although a little inappropriate.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex, because Chuck Norris never screws up.

In his youth, Chuck Norris distributed the newspaper. There is no survivor.

under chucks beard is not a chin....but another fist

then lois goes "im sure thats not true peter" and then chuck norris walks in and goes "what did you say" and a fist comes out of his beard and punches her

It punches Bryan

oh whoops

I watched a funny soda commercial where shuck norris was chasing these 2 teenagers across a city from house to house to get their coke

[chimchim930]

yay im glad i supported the chuck norris thread here lol

[Katanga]

hehe lol chim

[chimchim930]

[Kingbloonsbuilder]

[Katanga]

...okay then

[Kingbloonsbuilder]

Chuck Is The bomb

[Katanga]

no... chuck is the atomic bomb!

[rutz342]

correction correction, ooooohh...

[Katanga]

what Rutz? Anyways, actually, chuck is the hydrogen bomb!

[rutz342]

he's the atomic hydrogen bomb!

[Katanga]

I don't even know if there's such a thing!

[kareljanis]

there isnt.

[Katanga]

well, what if you take a hydrogen bomb and an atomic bomb, blow them both up, and spill a giant load of cream cheese over it? Then the two bombs will be so happy, they will start to eat the cheese and make peace.

Well, to be honest, what really would happen is that the heavy unstable radioactive elements from the two bombs would elapse into the molecules of the cheese and cause the molecules to escape causing more heavy unstable radioactive elements to escape and create a chain affect destroying all the yummy poor cheese.

[kareljanis]

Chuck Norris created yo mama jokes.

[Katanga]

Yes, cuz Yo Mama was pregnant with Chuck Norris, then Chuck tried to kill her, but kept bouncing off her fat belly (cuz yo mama so fat). Then he decided to make fun of Yo Mama since he couldn't kill her. So he hurt her using words and bullying instead of pain. So really, I feel sorry 4 yo mama. I mean, she never complained that she got the worst sun ever! Why! Oh why, yo mama! WHY???? I know, it's a very emotional story.

Spoiler:

[kareljanis]

next time youll say lol ill un-admin you!

[Katanga]

Hey! That's mean! Ok fine I just like using that word

[Ernie]

It's actually an acronym.

[Katanga]

yeah it is. Laugh out Loud

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