Random Forums
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

+10
pteri forever
beradc54
funmaster
10art1
Ernie
rutz342
Kingbloonsbuilder
chimchim930
kareljanis
Katanga
14 posters

Page 2 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Fri 20 Jun 2008, 08:09

once kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine "Chuck Norris." When they refused, Chuck kicked Google in the face, transforming it's bruise into Google Dark.

Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris kicking God in the face.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Fri 20 Jun 2008, 08:20

Somewhere in Hong Kong -- In the basement of a supposedly abandoned warehouse, an illicit tournament reaches its climax. Hundreds of spectators jam the seats, all shouting at once, as bookmakers roam the aisles carrying fistfuls of a dozen currencies, calling out their odds on the championship fight mere moments away.

Into the dirt-floored ring steps Bruce Lee, stripped to the waist, and the crowd goes mad. Girding his forehead is a strip of black fabric torn from the outfit of Steven Seagal, whom he demolished in the semifinals. He gives a quick smile to his girlfriend -- the only blond American woman in the crowd, naturally -- and bows to the referee.

The din grows louder still with the arrival of his opponent. Jackie Chan won the fastest victory in the tournament to reach this match, catching Jean-Claude van Damme in the middle of a split with a move called "Enter the Scrotum". He winks at his girlfriend -- the only blond American woman in the crowd, naturally -- before bowing to his opponent.

The referee steps into the middle of the ring, chops his hand down hard, and gets out of the way. The ultimate martial arts battle has begun!

So Shane, which fu fighter's flying feet and furious fists flatten his foe?



Bruce Lee

vs.

Jackie Chan

The Commentary
Shane: This match is over before it begins. Literally. In Enter the Dragon, during one of Bruce Lee's self-guided tours of Han's island fortress, the alarm is sounded and an ungodly number of henchmen converge on him. One of them gets Lee in a bear hug, but Lee breaks his grip, then his neck. The hugger in question is Jackie Chan.

Bruce Lee wins, because he's already killed his opponent. That's it.

Really. I'm done. Well, I'm being paid to be here for another 59 minutes. I'm going to go read a book.

Bruce lee rips the book out of his hands, and throws it up in the air. in one hour a square piece of coal that looks similar to a book falls on shane's head

Shane: Ouch!

The other guy: OMG! a burnt book imaled your head

Shane: and worst of all, I'm still alive!!!

then Bruce Lee killed him with one snap
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Katanga Fri 20 Jun 2008, 23:41

No
Katanga
Katanga
Sense of Hear
Sense of Hear

Number of posts : 4030
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. A hint: it's close to somewhere.
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-18

http://randomness.omgforum.net

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  funmaster Sat 21 Jun 2008, 00:15

Evil or Very Mad
funmaster
funmaster
Flying Ultra-Powered Spongebob
Flying Ultra-Powered Spongebob

Number of posts : 874
Location : somewhere
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue3 / 1003 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-20

http://www.funtime.forumarena.com      www.esnippleegames.foruma

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  beradc54 Sat 21 Jun 2008, 12:03

YAY jackie chan!
beradc54
beradc54
Smiley King
Smiley King

Number of posts : 489
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-26

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Katanga Sat 21 Jun 2008, 23:12

XD
Katanga
Katanga
Sense of Hear
Sense of Hear

Number of posts : 4030
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. A hint: it's close to somewhere.
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-18

http://randomness.omgforum.net

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Tue 24 Jun 2008, 19:13

no, he's an antimatter bomb! (it takes a pint of antimatter to fly a rocket to space. just add matter! WARNING: rocket may explode due to the fact that all the energy is released at once
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Katanga Tue 24 Jun 2008, 19:51

kool exploding rockets!

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Istockphoto_3694064_exploding_rocket
Katanga
Katanga
Sense of Hear
Sense of Hear

Number of posts : 4030
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. A hint: it's close to somewhere.
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-18

http://randomness.omgforum.net

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Fri 27 Jun 2008, 19:34

Shocked that was wierd, but all the same fladulant Shocked
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Ernie Sun 29 Jun 2008, 12:56

Chuck Norris...
Ernie
Ernie
Mother Earth
Mother Earth

Number of posts : 1463
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue7 / 1007 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-30

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Mon 30 Jun 2008, 18:45

looks more like a lik-a-color that drank red bull lol
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Katanga Tue 01 Jul 2008, 23:36

yeah lol I like posting random pictures!

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 1wa882tr

I have no freakin idea what the **** that was! lol
Katanga
Katanga
Sense of Hear
Sense of Hear

Number of posts : 4030
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. A hint: it's close to somewhere.
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-18

http://randomness.omgforum.net

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  pteri forever Wed 02 Jul 2008, 01:36

lol!
pteri forever
pteri forever
Three-Nosed Mohammad
Three-Nosed Mohammad

Number of posts : 1408
Age : 26
Location : The land of This Land
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-14

http://www.forgottenplanet.com/caillan/gamepage4

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Katanga Wed 02 Jul 2008, 13:00

maybe that was watermelon!
Katanga
Katanga
Sense of Hear
Sense of Hear

Number of posts : 4030
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere. A hint: it's close to somewhere.
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-18

http://randomness.omgforum.net

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Fri 04 Jul 2008, 07:43

maybe yr little sister just made I love you
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Ernie Mon 07 Jul 2008, 15:39

vomit
Ernie
Ernie
Mother Earth
Mother Earth

Number of posts : 1463
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue7 / 1007 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-30

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  kareljanis Mon 07 Jul 2008, 18:14

he actually doesnt have siblings
kareljanis
kareljanis
Power
Power

Number of posts : 2945
Age : 28
Location : Over there
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue2 / 1002 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue6 / 1006 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-19

http://randomness.omgforum.net/

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Ernie Tue 08 Jul 2008, 11:36

Lucky him. Wink
Ernie
Ernie
Mother Earth
Mother Earth

Number of posts : 1463
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue1 / 1001 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue7 / 1007 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-30

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Sat 12 Jul 2008, 19:02

my little sister steals my candy!!!
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  kareljanis Sat 12 Jul 2008, 20:56

i ahve alittle sister but she lives with my dad. i live with my mom
kareljanis
kareljanis
Power
Power

Number of posts : 2945
Age : 28
Location : Over there
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue2 / 1002 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue6 / 1006 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-19

http://randomness.omgforum.net/

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Sun 13 Jul 2008, 05:47

did they divorce?
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  kareljanis Sun 13 Jul 2008, 12:11

not officially, theyll officially divorce after they gain their citizenship
kareljanis
kareljanis
Power
Power

Number of posts : 2945
Age : 28
Location : Over there
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue2 / 1002 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue6 / 1006 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-19

http://randomness.omgforum.net/

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  loud m Sun 13 Jul 2008, 13:29

candy stealer!

loud m
Dalai Lama
Dalai Lama

Number of posts : 435
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-19

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  10art1 Sun 13 Jul 2008, 15:52

oh Sad that sucks
10art1
10art1
Force of Fire
Force of Fire

Number of posts : 2213
Age : 28
Location : in the tri-state area
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue20 / 10020 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-06-20

http://www.bacon.screwcamels.com

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  kareljanis Sun 13 Jul 2008, 18:31

not really, im actually kinda happy, except fro the fact my sister lives with my dad
kareljanis
kareljanis
Power
Power

Number of posts : 2945
Age : 28
Location : Over there
Strikes :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue2 / 1002 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Points :
Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Left_bar_bleue6 / 1006 / 100Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Right_bar_bleue

Registration date : 2008-05-19

http://randomness.omgforum.net/

Back to top Go down

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee - Page 2 Empty Re: Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum